This morning, I went about my regular routine of stumbling out of bed, half-sleeping through my shower, and making my way downstairs. After pouring a bowl of cereal, I pulled from the drawer what appeared to be a spinach-stained spoon. My hunch was that this was not recommended for eating cereal. Disgusted, and optimistic that it would be the most off-putting part of my morning, I sit at the table, clean spoon in hand, ready to scarf down my breakfast before dashing out the door.
Then, in the midst of my Cheerio shoveling, I see a commercial on the TV in the living room that stops me cold…
I don’t know where to begin with this. Although the older woman has all the enthusiasm that one should for sourcing a superior (and, um, un-messy) catheter, I just don’t think she’s cut out for this line of work. And it’s unclear to me if they both need catheters, or just the younger gentleman with very little to say.
I’m convinced that the doctor is actually a licensed physician, because he sure as hell isn’t an actor. The stethoscope helps too, because what doctor in his right mind goes on camera – for a rehearsed commercial – without his stethoscope still wrapped around his neck?
There are some serious nuggets of wisdom from this commercial:
1. Stop using dirty catheters. Seriously, he raised his voice. Stop using dirty catheters!
2. Catheters are messy, and that’s bad.
3. A single, free catheter is obviously an effective incentive for building a mailing list.
4. Thanks to Medicare, we can now enjoy 6 catheters a day. I don’t know how Medicare came up with that number, but I’m sure it makes sense to someone.
And there you go. I could probably go on, but that might require a bit of explanation as to what a catheter does, and I don’t want to do that ever. So, happy weekend, everyone!